i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
