You made me cry and you don't even care
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Randomize