I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
True but thats because hes a fetus.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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