Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Randomize
