What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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