Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
