I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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