She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
