Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Randomize