She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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