I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
