he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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