did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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