Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
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