I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
