im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
