I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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