You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
