i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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