Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
