He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
