And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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