She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize