i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
