went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
