In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
