somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
