Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
