You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I can tuck mytits in my pants
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
My pussy is not your playground.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Randomize
