They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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