is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Randomize