So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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