Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
