so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize