I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
