And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
