she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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