Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
