Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
