:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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