i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
