I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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