I will die if light touches me.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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