3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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