Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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