If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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