i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
