i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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