After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
