I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Randomize
