Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
