i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
