Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Randomize
