Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Randomize
