just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
