I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
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