The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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