It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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