hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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