i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Houston, we have a blender
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
