Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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