when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
