Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
