I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
