is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
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