please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
