Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
